I started thinking about this yesterday when I was on hold with a modbe clothing rep. on the phone, and thier on hold recording really annoyed me! It was some stay at home mom who was talking about how being a modbe clothing consultant gave her her identity outside of the home. I thought to myself, why wouldn't you have an identity outside of the home? How crazy is that? But, I can see how it could happen to women like me(and many of you) who are in thier child bearing years, and planning on having many children, and being in the home for a good portion of thier time everyday. But then I thought, how sad, and I WILL NEVER be that woman.
Growing up I always felt like a very strong person with a very strong identity. Although, my identity was much easier to put into words back then.
Then I have thoughts about what kind of identity do I want to live up to. What kind of legacy do I want to leave for my children?
I refuse to let my identity be swallowed up by my children and be left with no part of me when they are all grown up. I won't do that to myself, and I certainly won't give that kind of example to my daughters.
Some things I really want to cultivate so that they become part of my identity. Others I want to bring back from what my identity used to be, but in the last 8 years have become a bit forgotten. While others I still have and am proud to be.
The number one thing I want to cultivate as part of my identity and legacy for my family is a love of studying the scriptures/church. This is something I have a true passion for and really want this to be a part of who my children would say I am if asked to name thing things to describe thier mothers identity.
The number one thing I want to bring back from my past identity is playing sports. I want my kids to go to my games, as well as I going to thiers. This is a huge part of what made me who I am and I have let it go.
I believe it to be of ultimate importance for us, while on this earth, to have a sense of who we are, and what we want to become, so that our goals will be in our minds and so we are constantly striving to meet them.
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7 comments:
I agree with you about wanting to bring back my athletic side. It was such a big part of my life and has dwindled to practically nothing now. These early years are just hard with babies but a plan to get myself more involved too, because it was something that gave me so much joy that I don't want to give up on and I'm sure the kids will think it is pretty cool too!
I think I have the opposite problem. I'm so busy with my own identity, that I don't do the things for my family that I ought to. I'm always striving to make sacrifice and selflessness a bigger part of my identity.
I couldn't have said it any better, Mel! Hope the pregnancy is going well. You guys are in our prayers.
You are an amazing woman! Trying to have a perfect balance of self, and selflessness. As long as you are aware that you want to have your own identity, you won't really lose it. keep it up and your children will be grateful that they have a mom like you!
Heidi
I am so grateful for my friends! You guys are so awesome and supportive. I LOVE hearingwhat you have to say about things that are on my mind!
love,
mel
Hello West family! Jarron asked me to search for your blog and I found it! Thank you so much for the wonderful Valentine card..you're too sweet! It is so amazing to see your family and how everyone is growing. If our year continues to go well we hope to see you this summer! We love you all!
I feel like it doesn't take away from my identity to be a mom because it has always been part of who I wanted to be. I want to cultivate my loves while I help my children find theirs. I think it just feels like when you are taking care of all of your kids needs sometimes your own have to be snuck in or altered so the most important things happen. And I also feel like who I am has changed in important ways. If I were the same as I was 7 years ago I don't feel like I would have learned from my experiences. I admire that you balance doing things for you and your family I really struggle with that sometimes. Thanks for being a great friend.
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